If You Were An HP Fan...
by Marna
Summary: ~It seems that Professor Trelawny has not only infected Lavender and Parvati's mind, but mine as well! The third poem, Harry's Dismal Death is now out! R&R PLEASE!~
1. If You Were An HP Fan...

If you were a HP fan

_Just a bit of weirdness I wrote for an email...._

If you were an HP fan....

If you were an HP fan

You would know what HP meant......

You would also sit and wonder

Just why this letter was sent.

I am really tired now.

I don't know what I'm talking about,

Ignore what I'm saying if you like.

I'm just babbling through my snout

Ignore that last bit OK?

It was a stupid line.

My sister had to help me

So now I'll go and whine.

I'm sitting at the desk,

Typing up this thing

When a weird thought strikes me.

I don't own a diamond ring.

Not that I really mind

I don't like all the shine

Hey! I just figured something!  
That word rhymes with line!

I also want to say 

How much I'm mad at you

You're looking at my poem

as if I'm eating your shoe.

And now this letter is finally done

I'm sure you happy I ran

Now here's a thought to leave you with

It started with If you're a fan.

_Marna and The Little Voices Inside My Head..._


	2. If You Were A Fan of Ron...

Saddly, I'm back with a sequel

_Saddly, I'm back with a sequel..._

_ _

If you were a fan of Ron...

If you were a fan of Ron,

You would wish you had red hair.

You would also read this poem

And it would give you quite a scare.

See, the monkeys are taking over

They're almost in my house

I need some deadly weapon,

I know! I'll use a mouse!

But then there's always something more

Something that's less wider

Something most girls do not like

It is a big, black spider.

EEK! My brother's coming.

He's laughing with his friend.

Oh my, they have my secret book

My life will never mend.

Changing subject once again,

I have a problem see,

These friendly men in clean white coats

Are coming after me.

People think I'm weird and sick,

They couldn't be more wrong.

I just don't like to talk or play

I rather sing my song.

It's seems I've broken something nice

I it is think a pawn

I better go and hide it now

I hope I don't tell Ron.

Marna The Big Pruple Ant Eater


	3. Harry's Dismal Death

Here's something I thought you might enjoy....

Yeah...Right...

Harry's Dismal Death

When Mars and Mercury are seen in the sky

Harry Potter is soon to die

_HP: "Not very creative today, is she Ron?" _

_RW: "She seems to be coppying Trelawny's crap."_

_HG: "Oh shut up you too! She must have good a reason!"_

His hair will catch fire

Turning it red

His spleen will explode

He will wish he were dead

_RW: "And you were saying Hermione...?"_

_HG: "Ok..Ok..So she's a crazied lunitic! So what else new?" _

Next his legs will curl in

A jelly-leg hex

And then slowly fall off

I wonder what's next

_RW: "Ewie, sounds icky."_

_HP: "Ewie? Did I hear you say EWIE?"_

Perhaps then he will implode

Finally ending his fame

And now I can stop typing

And go play a game

_RW: "That was...Interesting..."_

_HG: "It was sick and twisted...don't you agree Harry?"_

_RW: "Harry?"_

THUD 

Marna, The Girl With No Life


	4. Mary Sue, Mary Sue

Mary Sue, Mary Sue  
  
Mary Sue, Who are you?  
  
I really wish I knew!  
  
I need to know just whom you love  
  
'cause I don't have a clue!  
  
Are you the hero's sister  
  
Or are you his 'twu wuv'?  
  
Are you my future mother  
  
Or a gremlin from a pub?  
  
Mary Sue, What are you?  
  
I have to think this through!  
  
I need to know just why your eyes  
  
Are periwinkle blue!  
  
Or why your eyes aren't eyes at all  
  
But 'oculars' instead,  
  
Or why your hairs aren't hairs at all  
  
But flames upon your head!  
  
Mary Sue, Where are you?  
  
On this I have to stew.  
  
I need to know just where you're from  
  
And where it is you flew!  
  
Can you be from the USA  
  
Where skanky hos aren't fools?  
  
Can you be from Great Britain  
  
Where you think you are so cool?  
  
Mary Sue, When are you?  
  
The timelines I must view!  
  
I need to know just where you fit,  
  
Your character is new!  
  
Are you some unsung hero  
  
From days of long gone by?  
  
Are you some future bimbo  
  
With star ships you can fly?  
  
Mary Sue, Why are you?  
  
And this is very true:  
  
I think you wish you were this girl  
  
Whom all the boys she screws.  
  
Were you left out when all the kids  
  
Chose teams at school today?  
  
Were you the lazy teenager  
  
Who didn't get her way?  
  
Mary Sue, How are you?  
  
I need to talk with you!  
  
I need to know just why you sit  
  
And talk about your shoes!  
  
I need to know why all you do  
  
Is try to rule the world  
  
I need to know why all you say  
  
Is "I'M A HOTT GURL!!1!"  
  
Mary Sue, Mary Sue  
  
I must say to you:  
  
As much as you think you love yourself  
  
IWe/I really don't like Iyou/I! 


End file.
